


One kiss to let you know what you'd miss

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-28
Updated: 2006-04-28
Packaged: 2018-12-27 05:14:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12074214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: The hottest kiss of Brian and Justin took place in Season 2, episode 19... right before Brian is about to lose Justin for good, he decides to give him a kiss he will never forget.





	One kiss to let you know what you'd miss

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

** **

** Brian P.O.V **

 

****

 

He thinks I don't know what he is doing, up late, outside. He thinks I am too stupid and damn blind to see what he is up to, at these hours, late at night. But I am no fool, you see... I know what Justin is doing, and with whom he is fucking. I know it's not just a whim or a trick... right now, I don't really care. I mean, of course I don't want to share him with anyone, but then again, I don't really have a choice. Justin has already made a choice, he is slipping away and I don't get a word.

 

 

No protests, he knows what he is doing, he is awfully aware of the consequences, but is he really? Does he really know how much I care for him? Does he know that without him in my life, I have nothing? Or does he think I don't give two shits about him? Personally, I can't understand how he can have his doubts. I never gave him a reason to. But then again, I didn't bother telling him what I am now telling you. I didn't once, told him what he means to me, and now... it might just be too late.

 

 

I have already lost him, to this Ethan guy. I'm angry, I am truly angry but I know once he walks through that door and into my arms tonight, I won't feel angry. I'll feel the happiest man on earth, to have him here with me. Even if it means I no longer have his heart, or the place I used to have in his life. And this is damn frustrating... but losing him for good, would be even more;

 

 

I really don't understand why he did this, to me, to us... and there is an "us", even though I won't admit it to him. He got me in a short leash, and I can't say a word. All I can do is watch him getting away, walking out on me, and slipping out of my hands. I don't want to lose him, I don't want to say goodbye and have the last kiss, but unfortunately I don't have much of a choice. It's just a matter of days until he comes clean and tells me about Ethan, just a matter of days until he walks out of this door, and out of my life. Man! I love him... I really do, in ways Ethan never will.

 

 

It's true, I don't play the violin, I don't buy him flowers or ask him to dance, but that's only because I am not that kind of a person... and I thought Justin loved that about me. Apparently, he didn't. Apparently, I wasn't enough anymore.

 

 

He walks into the room, silently, probably thinks I am still out. When he sees me, standing in the shadows, his heart misses a beat. "You scared me..." he says, as he takes a few steps closer, but not close enough. I want to grab him, tell him he will make the biggest mistake of his life, if he were to leave. I want to kiss him so hard, and feel his lips touching mine. I want to hold him, feel his body next to mine, not saying a word, letting our bodies do the talking instead.

 

 

Because when you love someone, words are no longer necessary, at least for me there aren't. All I want to do is love him, making him feel loved, letting him know I can get over a day without him by my side, letting him know actions speak louder than words, and that I, too, can love him in my own unique way. But that's not longer enough for young Justin now, is it?

 

 

He asks me who won the game: "Say cheers to the winners", but it wasn't us. He heads towards the shower, probably to wash off his betrayal, wash off his smell... it's been going on for days now: Whenever Justin comes back from school or "working on his project", he is running to the shower, before I have the chance to wash him myself, and fuck him. And I know why he does that... I know he doesn't want me to find out he is fucking around, breaking the rules he came up with. He wants to wash himself off so I wouldn't smell his boy all over him. And lately, he does have the strangest smell on him. It's not his, this much is clear.

 

 

So he is trying to go to the shower again, but I don't let him, this time. I am forcing his tongue into my mouth and suck on it slowly, sensually, to get him all turned on and back in the game. He tries to fight it first: "Can we please do this afterwards?", but my answer is no. I want to smell him, not the soap. I want to have him right here, right now... his body wrapped in mine. His mouth on mine... looking at me, lust-filled and ashamed.

 

 

And he has a lot to be ashamed of. He has all reasons to be. I move closer to him, put my hands over him to let him know he has got nowhere to go, and this time, we are doing it exactly how I want it to be done. I move my hands lower, touching him everywhere, pealing his clothes off, piece by piece, breathing into his mouth, urgently... can't get enough of him, can't let go. But what happens when I have to? What happens if he will no longer be here when I wake up? I am going crazy here, I am afraid.

 

 

Nevertheless, I have him here now, and exactly where I want him to be. I touch him, needing him so. I haven't fucked him for a day now, and one day is long enough to be out of his body. I want to feel him close to me, want to be sure that nothing has changed, that I am still the one he comes running to, that I am never to be replaced. I know all about his sensitive spots, and how to drive him out of his fucking mind. I know all about Justin, what he likes me to do to him while we're fucking, where he wants me to touch and how... no one does it better! He can never have that with Ethan. Ethan can never measure up. And Justin knows it too.

 

He doesn't fight it anymore, just giving into me... his fingers are all over my hair, and he is touching me, and kissing me and it's so damn hot! I can never get over how hot sex is, with Justin. He makes it so worthwhile and enticing. Every time he touches me, I am burning with lust and passion.

 

 

Desire is killing me and so is my dick. I am speeding things up, kissing him with greater force, possessing him. Making him mine again... and I keep telling to myself: "Ethan did not touch my baby in all those places... he didn't enter his body, he didn't kiss those lips", but then I realize he did. He did all of that, and more... he kissed him and fucked him and loved him, and somehow even got him to love him. But I still have him right here with me, and I am not giving him up. I kiss him some more, nibbling his lips, going crazier by the minute. And he is shaking; he wants it just as much!

 

 

But I can't get my mind off Ethan: "is he better than me?" of course he isn't... so why doesn't he get enough of him? Why doesn't he leave him alone? I fight the thoughts, and focus on pleasuring him... making him see I am the only one: always was, forever will, and making him see I am so much better than him. So much better than Ethan. But if that's the case, why doesn't he stop it? Why can't he move beyond this?

 

 

He is standing before me, naked. I check him up and down, never letting my eyes off him. I never can. He returns me the look; his eyes focus on me as he works my buttons, and takes my shirt off, as well. My jeans are already open... you know, for easy access, and he smiles at that. We fall to the floor, together. I kiss him, all over... his eyes, his nose, his lips.

 

 

These lips I tell you, they were made to be kissed and nibbled at. I look at him, all this time, taking his pants off too, while I am at it. He opens his eyes; I can see how much he craves it. 'I want you too baby', I think to myself. But then I see him again... this Ethan guy, touching my boy, licking his lips, whispering into his ear. "You like that?" I ask him. "Yeah" he breathes. And I lick him some more, breathe his intoxicating smell into my lungs, breathe his neck... hold on! This isn't Justin.

 

 

This isn't his scent. At once, I stop moving... everything just stops, and he opens his eyes again: "Why did you stop?" he asks. "Because I shouldn't have started that in the beginning with", that's what I tell him, "and you should take a shower. You stink!" I use his own words against him. Now he knows... and I stand up from the floor, just leaving him, to lie there on his own. He doesn't know what to say... silently asking for my forgiveness, but it wouldn't help because we lovers, we need no words. What we need is an unspoken commitment. We, lovers, we need no words... we need to let our bodies do the talking instead.


End file.
